Ladies dating marrage
They offered the following strategies to help make the right choice: The elders suggest you think about whether your future spouse will be a “good provider.” It’s an old-fashioned term, but it embodies a fundamental truth: marriage may be about love, but it’s also an economic arrangement that unites the financial futures of the partners. The elders told story after story of having to carry the economic load and handle someone else’s debts and bad financial decisions.So women (and men, too) need to ask: Does my prospective mate like to work? You don't need to make the choice entirely on your own, older women say.
"By that time in my life, I was awake to what I needed.At this point I had a little boy and what he needed was very important to me — and it turned out very well." The elders say that women should make sure — committing — that their partner’s goals for a good life together align with theirs.Unfortunately, such discussions are sometimes not explicit and detailed.In their view, they tend to do one of three risky and possibly disastrous things: First, they can fall passionately in love and commit immediately, Romeo and Juliet style; second, they can, especially as they reach their 30s, commit out of desperation, for fear that no one better will come along; third, they can drift or fall into marriage without the choice or its reasons ever becoming clear to themselves or others. Whether it is an impulsive move, a perceived last-chance leap or a slide into the inevitable, their advice is to stop, look, and listen — to yourself and others. Some strong testimony for the need to wait and choose carefully came from women who experienced failed marriages (sometimes getting it right in a second union).
They typically attributed the failure to entering marriage on impulse and not gaining a deep knowledge of their partner before marrying.
And one person can say, 'I really want children.' The other one says, 'Well, I’m not sure' and they let it go. But many older women in the study emphasized “choose very carefully” as a lesson — and one they wished to pass on to younger women wondering the big question: Should I stay or should I go?